Dear 25-Year-Old Stephanie...

...No one warned you, but then, even if they had, you would have made the same choices. No one told you how hard it would be loving a child like your own and wanting the best for them. No one told you that you would have to deal with decisions that were made before you took over and no one said that you would have no idea what the heck you were doing either.

Fast forward to now...and just remember - it isn't easy, but it will be worth it. Keep repeating that until the storm clouds pass and the trials are over and you can breathe deep again.

***************

Being a mom is hard. Being a 2nd mom is even harder. Being a sister to that same girl is the hardest. And yet, as much as she breaks my heart sometimes, I wouldn't want it any other way. I know that what I am doing is making a difference...through the tears and the pain, I know that someday she is going to appreciate what we do for her. I know this first hand.

When I was a teenager, a family took me in and loved me like their own. They had a little girl and I adored that child like you wouldn't believe. That didn't stop me from being a teenager and doing stupid things...but through it all, they set rules and boundaries and they loved me.I know they loved me - and love me now - because for all the stupid things I did when I moved out to be an "adult" they are still by my side now. They are still here for me. I don't know who I would be or what I would do without Mark and Robin. No one has perfect parents...but I think all parents have perfect moments. I hope that I can find mine.

Being a parent is truly the greatest joy in my life and the hardest thing I have to do every day. It's that simple...sometimes being a mom is the pits...and then the sun comes out and that same child smiles as you and you know you are going to keep doing it. No matter how hard it gets. There is no giving up, no moving on, no starting over. Unlike most things in life, you have to keep moving forward, apologize for your mistakes, take the hard parts with the good, and pray to God that you are doing something right!

When you get married and start talking about children you don't always realize that it changes everything - but you give up so much for the chance to be a parent and the learning curve is steep for this one. Pray for me and for my children - we need them. I will keep doing my best to be a better person, a better mom, and a better example...and I pray that God gives my children joy in their lives, wisdom to make better choices, and bravery to stand up for themselves in life - no matter what.

From one tired momma,
Love yourself <3